...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
