did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize