# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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