i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
