where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
