If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
