I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
