So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
