Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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