Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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