and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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