also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
