Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
