So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
