In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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