He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
