I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
