How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
