Can Purell be used as lube?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
