just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
