They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
