awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
