i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
