it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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