don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
