Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This is my gift to your gina
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
