Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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