You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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