brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
