I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
