She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it because I queefed?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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