i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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