But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
