We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
