when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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