Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
