But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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