I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
