While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
