you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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