She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
