That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
