So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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