she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
