he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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