I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
