honey bunches of taint.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
