I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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