it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
