Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
