Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
