I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
