You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
