"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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