You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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