I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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