He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
