you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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