I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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