plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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