First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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