READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
