i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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