idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
