i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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