I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
